This song cracks me up. It's basically "White Privilege: The Anthem", or at least I'd imagine that is how some would take it.

Many, many years ago I had a girlfriend who began to resent me for how easy my life was. She began to hate how I basically drifted through any scenario, coming out the other end unscathed, if not improved. It made her so angry that she ended up cutting up some of my stuff: a stack of DVDs, my favorite jacket, and a few of my books.

She was living with me at the time, so she did it secretly, by cutting the DVDs in half, putting them back in the case and on the shelf. The books she split down the spine and put back next to the others. My jacket, she cut up the back, into long jagged strips, then hung it back on its hanger where it was up against the wall as if nothing has happened.

I didn't notice for months, until long after we'd broken up again. I only discovered my jacket was torn up when I grabbed it to wear as protection for an AirSoft play session, and even then, I misattributed it as I didn't notice the rips until I put the jacket on and bent over, hearing a tear. I took it off and looked at it, three jagged splits running from the bottom up to the shoulders, and I thought out loud: "Did my jacket just explode when I put it on?" I showed it to several people in my confusion, and one guy looked at me like I was an idiot: "Obviously someone cut up your jacket, bro, come on now." I noticed the DVDs much later, when I went to sell my DVD collection to a record store. I still have some of the books she tore through.

Anyway, this song is not sung as if it is the truth, it is a defiant brag, meant to rub the luckiness of people like me in the face of people like her. And that's hilarious, I love it, and I especially love the last lines, which sounds like a prayer: "Let it happen to them, let it happen to them instead."

(Editors Note: We've actually written about this before, over 16 years ago. And, wow! I sound like such a dick!)