If this isn't one of the greatest songs you've ever heard, get off my website. You're banned. Go away. You're hogging bandwidth that I pay for out of my own pocket that can go to other people who have better taste in music than you. If, when they do the ZZ Top "'ow-'ow-'ow", you don't grin involuntarily, you're almost just as bad! With that out of the way...

The Presidents of the United States of America are a deeply weird band. Their two big hits, "Lump" and "Peaches", are quirky but not so overtly weird to be obvious. I... hmm. Just not feeling it today. This song really speaks for itself, so I don't think I really need to say much about it.

I'm going to pretend, as I write this, that you interpret this song the same way I do.

The pairing of sex and death was so influential to me at a young age. I think. I got this album when I was in the fifth grade, along with Green Day's Dookie and Insomniac and they were the first pieces of popular music I owned. They were on cassette, which I mention only so that one day I can one up some kid who goes "cassettes are so retro!" and I can be like "yeah i am do cool i grew up with cassettes, thuglife!" and I don't know what I'm saying.

I feel awkward around death. I surrounded myself at the vet hospital with dead animals, on occasion, when I volunteered to tally up the names of the dead in the freezer, but any time a doctor cut open an animal and started showing me their insides, I got kind of squeamish. (With notable exceptions.) I don't like the insides of things, that's stuff we shouldn't see. The insides of dead things smell bad. I take that as a good sign we shouldn't play about in them.

What this has to do with this song so far, I don't know.

Oh, yes! This song pairs the imagery of dead pets with a chorus that just screams sex, to me, and it's so weird, because I was listening to this at ten years old and I kinda sorta understood.

I explained my feelings on this song in depth to people once and came back from it feeling kind of awkward so now I feel all hesitant, which is why I am blahing.

I think the song is drawing parallels between the childlike horror and curiosity of discovering rotting animals and the masculine fear and dread that lurks deep and silently within every man when he deeply contemplates the implications of sex.

The end!

Site Notes: This isn't supposed to get posted. I drafted it the other day and planned to not post it, but my internet has been down for over 12 hours and I don't know when it'll get back up so this is today's post.