I don't want to blame marijuana necessarily, because blame makes it sound like something is wrong, but I will tell you that ever since I started smoking regularly I've mostly lost the ability to get angry about things. It's like I'm utterly unable to sweat the small stuff, and even when presented with a situation in which I can choose to get angry, I usually just end up feeling sad and resigned.

Is this a perk? I'm not sure. Sometimes I wish I could get angry, and I search for it, like how sometimes you have to search for tears because they don't just come naturally but you need the release, but the anger never comes. There might be a glimmer, a single hand slammed down on the steering wheel, but for the most part I'm just an emo little shit.

Maybe I'm just overstating my case. I've been angry in the recent past, it just took a lot. The main example of me failing to get angry just recently involves a situation in which anger wouldn't solve anything, and the thing that could have caused the anger was really just meant to make me feel bad, and it did. So, bad I felt, not angry, just sad. How do things go so wrong?

Back to music related rambling tomorrow. I don't have much to say beyond vagaries about my personal life. STEVE HOLT!