Now, maybe I'm out of my league here, talking about this band, but if I were to sum up Out Hud as easily as possible I'd say: Imagine The Blow, but subtract all of the YACHT from it, and then you have something like Out Hud. To get to closer, subtract all of The Blow's really clever, sexy songwriting, then you pretty much have Out Hud. Which is to say Out Hud isn't really anything like The Blow or YACHT, but that they have beats and you can dance (slowly?) to all their songs.

I discovered this band because they are said to be similar to LCD Soundsystem on a popular music trading website. They aren't similar. LCD Soundsystem marries the verse-chorus-verse rock'n'roll song structure to dance beats and live drums, bringing that sort of pop/rock attitude to music you can dance to for hours. Out Hud sounds like electronic music: the vocals aren't there to carry the song, they're just there, useless, like a penis that can't get erect, like balls rendered sterile and deformed by repeated accidental dosings of radiation.

I don't want to sound like I am being down on Out Hud, because this is a decent album to listen to when there is nothing else around that could be better (refer to all the other band names I have mentioned in this post), but when I landed on All Music Guide, back in 2005 they said, "Out Hud have, in a roundabout way, developed into the most original dance band on the planet." I'm not really sure how that is.

Maybe it depends on how you define "original". Maybe "original" isn't actually a compliment. I mean, I could start a dance group and all the samples could be recordered directly from my flatulent asshole. Yes, recordered, as in recorded through a recorder stuck in my ass. That would be original. Hell, that would probably make me the most original dance artist in the world, at least until Lady Gaga decided to wear a dress made entirely out of farts and then I'd just be old news. Old, sad news, like a penis unab... oh I've used that one already. Like a vagina, dry, dusty, and alone!

I drank a lot of coffee this morning. I don't normally drink anything resembling coffee---I think it's been two years since I have drank coffee in the morning, and I already feel like I am about to bounce out of my skin. This is opposed to Out Hud, who don't make me want to bounce out of my skin so much as they make me want to simmer slowly in it, which isn't a bad thing I swear.

God, this went terribly awry. I'm supposed to be convincing you to listen to Out Hud.