I get paranoid sometimes, like full on crazy paranoid delusions, or at least I think so. What I mean is, sometimes I scare myself. I recover from whatever it is I am suspicious about and I look back and I think: Holy shit! What the hell is wrong with me! Conspiracy theories scare me, I used to keep myself up late at night reading about Vince Foster and then I'd have to walk around the house turning on all the lights, which probably makes me more paranoid, and even locking myself into a closed room doesn't help either, because what good does being boxed in do?

Paranoia is great, in that it could be totally useful to manipulate in someone else, if you could become skilled at it. On the other hand, it also sucks a lot of balls when you're the one being all nonsensical, running around with your head filled with stupid bullshit.

There's a fine line, I think, between paranoia and fear. I think fear can be fun, because at least when you're filled with fear, if you're afraid, you know that something is coming for you and you should be ready for it. In the past I have explored this series of abandoned building a number of times, part of a mental institution in the 80's, because it's scary. There is nothing more exciting than darting around the burned carcasses of buildings, the dusty (likely asbestos filled, so I'll die of cancer) interiors strewn about with old chairs and medical files, knowing that if you peek your head outside at the wrong moment or shine your flashlight in the wrong direction, you could end up running from the cops as fast as you can. Fear is great. I have a lot of fun with it sometimes.

Paranoia is the devil. All that uncertainty. You have to wonder whether you are the thing you should be scared of, that you have nothing to be afraid of but your own malicious inner dialog. Such a killer.

But, in the end, who cares? I get annoyed at people who are excessively frightened of anything, like full on "Let's get out of here man!!" sort of fright. I think it's a weakness. I have lost respect for friends who act excessively scared, (and it's funny because the friend who acts like the biggest pussy in scary situations is the friend who has to act all 'alpha male' when he's around everyone else, like he's so fucking tough).

I kept trying to tie this back into government conspiracy shit so that it would all make sense in the context of the song, but I find myself unable!

My point:

So what if Big Brother is watching?

Let 'em watch.