I propose that someone create a "Fact Certification Board" that people (companies, individuals) can hire in order to certify the facts of the statements that they make. Considering the fact that newsprint is dying and journalists will have no where to go, and that supposedly journalists care about things such as "facts" and "integrity", I would propose that out of work journalists take the time to make this a reality.

I will elect myself as the "Fact Certification Board Certification Awareness Czar" so that I will oversee the journalists and make sure they don't get a little rowdy the next time a President tries to shove a bunch of bullshit un-certifiable facts through them in order to dupe the American public into supporting a bullshit war.

It'll be the job of these people to give the common average American someone they can trust 100% to listen to. Not that it'll make any sort of difference but at least guys like me would have someone to turn to and say, "You know what, I don't care about personal bias, what I care about is reality. Tell me what the reality of the situation is and I'll believe that."

I like to believe that Penn & Teller are the beginnings of a "Fact Certification Board". Even though I've only seen bits and pieces of their "Bullshit" show, from what I've seen they seem to know what they're talking about and I feel like I'm becoming better informed. They show both sides of the argument (even if they use funny sounds to make the 'wrong' side look a little foolish) and, in the end, seem to just be genuinely angry (in the same way I am) that people are so fucking stupid.

I came across this episode of Penn & Teller's Bullshit that deals entirely with bottle water and the recycling myth, so I posted it on MySpace. I'll embed the video here because it's really great. It is 30 minutes long.

If you didn't watch it, here's the gist: people like bottled water because it makes them think they are drinking better quality water, even when they're not, and they prove this with 'hidden camera' technology that seems honest enough. Personally I drink nothing but Arrowhead bottled water, even though it tastes like shit once it's no longer cold, and I like it more than tap water. Do I think it's better for me? I know people who claim that the fluoride in the drinking water is going to give us brain cancer or something but I'm pretty sure that's bullshit so, no, it's all about taste, and I'll admit that's probably all in my head. So, right there, I agree with Penn & Teller. I wish I didn't drink bottle water. If I didn't live in a house that stocked nothing but bottle water, I probably wouldn't drink it.

In the second half, Penn & Teller reveal that 'recycling' is simply an 8 billion dollar a year tax payer sink hole that does nothing but create more pollution and that people like to think that it makes them 'better people' by doing it and that's why they spend so much time focused on the 'recycling myth'. I already believed this just by logical deduction years ago that recycling my bottle probably didn't make a difference to anything, but Penn & Teller really 'opened my eyes' to the deeper truth of the ordeal.

I have this friend, let's call her Timothy, and she's one of those militant not-quite-hippie more-like-psycho environmental freaks. Mostly by this I mean that she spraypaints shit like "FREE YOUR MIND" and "ANARCHY" and "BELIEVE" all over her walls (along with stencils of pictures of herself which doesn't really seem very humble), pollutes MySpace with endless bulletins linking to YouTube videos about the "christian agenda" and how the "government wants to control your mind". For the most part she lives in a barn behind her mothers house between trips to rehab and the mental hospital, so already I'm playing a losing game by trying to show her a video with any sort of real information in it.

so, what?

the paper and plastic gets fucking dumped with the food that goes no where? is that what penn and teller were trying to say when they tested people to see if they'd sift thru their trash? what fucking point does that make?

i recycle; should i stop?

-tim

You're actually polluting MORE by recycling, is the point. There is no clean method of recycling, recycling is unnecessary. It's just a dirty, inefficient process. Should you stop recycling? Sure. It's your tax dollars paying for it, or I should say it's your mother's tax dollars paying for it.

Someone makes money off of it, that's why it exists, not because it does any good. It's engineered to pull on your heart strings.

i save all my recyclables and fucking get money for them.

you're mother's tax dollars are paying for your recycler man too dumbass.

Then I got aggravated and sent this, repeating part of the Penn & Teller video that it's obvious she didn't even watch all of:

so you take pride in the fact that you get paid to pollute under the false claim that recycling helps the environment? that's cool, too.

i'm sure the carbon foot print of all the links in the chain (you, driving to the recycling place, the cost of running the recycling place, the pollution associated with the machinery that helps sort the recycling stuff, the trucks that take the recycling to bigger recycling centers, all the pollution that those recycling centers create, then the pollution that the trucks taking the 'recycled' material to alternate places.

that's totally worth 5 cents a bottle. you're right.

it's cool to be militant about issues, timmy, but it's more important to be well informed.

She then sent me two MySpace comments:

eh. i stay in my bubble of happiness. meaning i didn't read your message because a. i just don't care man, and b.. i want to have a good day.

And then blocked me. This was a girl who spent her day posting videos to MySpace hoping to "inform" people about "the truth". This was a girl who wallpapers her MySpace with silly spacey slogans and inspirational quotes. I went to visit this girl when she was in the psych hospital, I was the only friend who did. This was a girl who used to call me eight times in a row if I didn't answer my phone, and send me eighteen thousand instant messages trying to hang out with me and it was so annoying. I didn't realize that all I had to do to get her to leave me alone forever was suggest that recycling is a waste of time!

It's kind of a relief, actually, but it's also too bad. A "Fact Certification Board" would never make a difference here. The recycling myth is so firmly ingrained into people's heads as a daily source of endorphins (I assume that when you feel good about yourself by recycling that it's due to some scientific release of endorphins from your brain that's triggered by some pretentiousness center deep within your medulla oblongblowhard) that suggesting that all those years of sorting your shit into special cans has been for nothing but... further polluting the environment and practically burning money.

You could have God himself come down from Heaven and tell the writhing masses that recycling is a pointless waste of time, and no one would listen. Someone would probably shoot him because he doesn't look like what they thought he'd look like and they're angry about it.

What makes people so inclined to accept one piece of information over another? Admittedly, sometimes all you can do is choose between two different people claiming their facts as the true ones, but with any sort of research you can find which side that actually has the truth, and if you can't find the truth you can usually find out that one side has a dishonest agenda that corrupts their information. There's no other way.

This is what journalists are supposed to do for the people. It's a pity newsprint is dying, and maybe it's not because everyone is getting their news on the internet. Maybe it's because people just don't care to have the truth exposed to them any longer? The internet is more relevant because it's easy to find your own niche and stick to it. Conflicting opinions never even enter into the equation.

Who needs newspapers when you have YouTube? When you have Twitter? The new truth is self-made, hand-crafted, and exclusively tailored to suit your taste, and it's all thanks to the internet.

Song Note: Beirut are one of my super favorite bands, so favorite that I haven't posted them until now. I love the mood of this song and it perfectly matches the way this topic makes me feel. The song isn't really about anything (his voice is more about music than words), but that doesn't change the fact that the song is beautiful and wonderful.