As a unicyclist one of the first things you learn about wobbling your way through bicycle paths and the real world is that there are terrors living among us. Creatures that exist for no purpose other than getting in your way and destroying whatever graceful moment you were in. I'm talking, of course, about little girls. They're not to blame for the way they are. They're just lost in their own little girlie dreams, wandering wherever they please without much concern for where they're going, and that includes, most of the time, directly in front of you and stopping. One time I was going at a decent clip on my lumbering behemoth of 29" unicycle and a little girl dashed out right in front of me, maybe chasing a butterfly or an errant thought, and I had to fly off the front of it, stick the landing like an Olympian to prevent myself from falling on top of her, while catching the 20 pounds of metal crashing against my back. She just smiled and ran off.

Seems like big girls aren't much better, though you'd think the maturity that age is supposed to bring would make them less so. Unfortunately that is not so. The grown up women in my life have always wandered in and out at a moments notice. They show up in my path randomly and leave me tumbling, and when they notice they just smile and wander off in some other direction. Some say they could love me, and then end up fucking everyone else they say they couldn't love. Some say they love me, and then end up fucking someone else anyway. A few say they love me, but maybe I don't have enough money or maybe I'm not interesting enough, because eventually they don't anymore. One said she loved me, that she wanted to be with me forever, but the second I showed any weakness she ran away as quickly as she could.

I don't know what it is about this world. Maybe it's too much choice. A little girl can't choose between multiple butterflies, they're all too pretty, so after you've seen one up close you just gotta wander back across the road to see the other ones, too. Maybe it's the inhuman pedestal us guys place them upon. When you're a God you don't need to treat those beneath you with any respect or dignity. You don't have to mince your words or be polite. Tact is a weakness of character only displayed by cowardly mortals. I don't know. Either way, falling all over myself every time a girl wanders into my path is getting pretty tiresome. Seems like I can't get steady before another one sends me sprawling. The only solution is to stay inside forever and never go anywhere or talk to anyone ever again. I think I can do it!