Despite the general tone of my last post, I didn't intend to convey the idea that I might have wanted my relationship to end. I was hot under the collar, as it were. Despite misgivings in the past, for all intensive porpoises I wanted my relationship to continue on for a long time. I think. Most of the time, anyway. Sometimes I was like OMFG REALLY BITCH?, especially toward the end here, but I'm totally digressing.

That said, I totally got dumped last night. Over the phone! At least the three times prior that I dumped her, I did it face to face. Twice. One time it was over instant message but that was the "Uh I cheated on you, ah... hah? :\" kind of break up and I was at work and I mean come on, listening to a girl cry is such a waste of time. I guess you could say that this whole being dumped thing is bittersweet... in that I totally deserve it. It's especially funny because her reasoning is the same "I don't even really want to see anybody else, I just feel like I don't appreciate you, so I think maybe I need to be single," bullshit I used to feed her when I actually meant "I want to go and try to find someone better than you 'cause you're not really cutting it right now, honey." So that's... whatever that is.

There's a lot of perks to being single. I'd been thinking about writing about them recently because of how bizarre it is that I was pretty much totally over the idea of being single. It's funny that the second I'm kind of like, "You know what, a good three or four years of this might be nice, let myself age on the shelf like a fine wine"---which isn't to say I was just going to age my girlfriend and then ditch her for greener pastures... just, if, you know, she didn't age to the same fine quality I plan on getting myself to---I end up getting dumped.

What's also annoying is that she got nearly two and a half years of almost consistently free meals out of me, and then once she gets a job I get maybe two weeks. Two weeks for my two plus years I put in. What a fucking lousy investment. If I've learned something from the incredibly & disappointingly large number of failed personal relationships I've had with women, it's that if you start your relationship with a job and then lose it, you've got about two months before your woman flips the fuck out and dumps you. (And if you start your relationship without a job you've got about 8 months of fucking hell on earth until she dumps you.) Sometimes they say "It's not about you not having a job!" but it's a subconscious thing, uncontrollable. When she was unemployed I was thinking about dumping her all the time, and I only actually did it some of the time.

I guess I'm just trying to say no one is perfect.