This is, according to iTunes and not Last.FM, the song I've listened to more than any other song. (Fact is, The National is/were one of my favorite bands and I've only ever posted one song by them, not even one I really like very much, on this website. Isn't that weird?) It seems strange to think that the first time I listened to this song was over 5 years ago.

My girlfriend at the time had just broken up with me for the first time, and after I drove to the nearest gas station to buy a pack of cigarettes---thus ending the three month period in which I quit, for her---I put on this album a couple days after it came out. I don't know how I ended up with it (aside from Arcade Fire the amount of "indie" bands that passed my ears were few and far between) but I did, and I don't think I liked it very much. I ended up spending that entire break up (and make up, and break up, make up, break up) listening to The Postal Service and Death Cab For Cutie's Transatlanticism on infinite album shuffle. I'm not too proud to admit to it.

I don't remember how long it took me after that to discover how awesome Alligator was. (According to graphs from Last.FM's data it was only a month later.) I don't think it was until my next break up that "Baby, We'll Be Fine" really hit me like a ton of bricks. I fell in love with this song and I've never been able to fall out of love with it. It describes so many emotions that I used to go through on a daily basis (and sometimes still do). I don't know what to say.

This song has carried me hundreds of miles. Even when it shouldn't have, this song gave me a sense of hope. This song has made me feel like it's OK that it's not OK and that it'll probably never be OK. This song has made me feel sad. It's made me miss the past. It's made me miss myself, or at least who I used to be before I became what I was. All in all it's done more good than bad for me, I think, and even when I listen to it now (when it no longer seems so relevant, when I no longer feel like I'm destined to be a Bukowski and hope that I'll be more of a Moody) it still touches me, makes me pleasantly nostalgic.

Misc: I didn't like The National's new album. Partly because the whole thing sounds so slow and depressing, which has never stopped me before but I suppose I'm just not in the mood, and partly because they're so damn popular now. I mean, Arcade Fire are hugely popular, but I can separate the band from their fan base. With The National, it's harder. I'm starting to feel like they're going to be Coldplay's replacements when it comes to "popular music for adult wimps". It's only a matter of time before my sister (loves Coldplay, saw them live in Paris, total yuppie) says something like, "Oh, The National... they're great," and then I'll just explode, I'll just explode!

We are irrational animals. I make no excuses.