An unfortunate symptom of writing on the internet is that it's almost impossible to avoid snark. Snark, for my own definition and uses here, refers to that writing style we affectionately refer to as 'witty' or 'dry' or 'sarcastic' but really means 'I'm saying shit as mean as possible in the hopes other people will laugh'. I'm guilty of it, but I try to be really honest about it. It helps to feel justified about it, especially when someone calls you on something you say.

Snarky people, instead of saying, "Wow, your teeth are really white, did you just get them whitened?" would say, "Wow, your teeth look great, too bad the rest of you looks like shit in comparison. Shoulda spent that money on a new pair of jeans that doesn't make your ass look so huge, maybe?" Instead of saying, "I'm glad that President Obama is bringing change to America," the snarky person says, "I'm glad that President Obama is methodologically turning this country into a socialist snake pit blood orgy," or something.

So yesterday when I may have implied that this song tarnishes not only Mike Doughty's reputation but the reputation of all of Soul Coughing's previous work, maybe I was being a bit heavy handed. When I got home this morning and discovered Mike Doughty's twitter in reaction to my comments, I was shocked and surprised. Mostly because someone was actually paying attention.

I apologized in a two part Tweet, then got asked why I am apologizing. Here's a few reasons.

Don't get me wrong: Even though I apologized for insulting Doughty personally--I didn't say I was wrong, which is the joy of apologizing because you can say you're sorry for anything as long as you internally acknowledge that you're totally right.

You can weigh in with your opinion today by hearing the song and comparing it to yesterday's song. By the way, there is no comparison, just so you don't waste your time.

Screenwriter's Blues was the (probably) drug influenced noodlings of a 24 year old dude. A 24 year old dude just like me. A dude and his friends in a band who were making crazy music. At 24 Doughty probably thought he was the greatest poet known to man, and not because he was, but because he was 24 and when you're young you think you're still awesome at shit even though time has proven you not to be.

Looking At The World... on the other hand is written by a 35 year old guy who's been through the whole record industry cluster fuck (it's usually safe to assume that a member of a band who was in the major label system probably has horror stories) and has come out the end better, stronger, and... with slick hook laden production and a really polished big band sound? What? And production from the guy responsible for Closing Time, the obnoxious song that I was tortured with all through my youth like a Abu Ghraib prisoner being forced to listen to Nine Inch Nails?

Eleven years is a long amount of time. Things change. Maybe Doughty decided that a firmer step into the commercial waters was the way to go. You can't fault him for it, it got him this song on Grey's Anatomy and Bones, both television shows that are still on the air 3 years later! That's saying a lot.

I could have used less snark, so I apologized. Instead of saying that this song basically makes me want to stab my eyes out, I should have said...

Mike Doughty's later solo work is less interesting to me, and perhaps has diminished my willingness to listen to Soul Coughing, because of his new-found focus on pop songwriting and writing infectious jingles that worm into your ear and refuse to get out. Personally, I am just not that into it, and do not care for it one bit.

Don't get me wrong, this song is infectious. It's horribly infectious. You hear it once and you spend the next hour or so going "IIIIIII FEEEEEEEEEEEL..." over and over again in your head. It's a good song to drive around to, because it's got a driving beat. The lyrics are pure Doughty: slightly poetic, easy to remember, very emotive. All in all it's a good Doughty pop song, as equally catchy as Soul Coughing's Circles, and... uh... Circles. I'm sure there are other Soul Coughing songs with overly infectious to the point of annoying choruses.

I also briefly realized that I talk a lot of shit on certain bands here, and that there are people who are behind those bands who may become offended that I'm insulting their work.

If Weezer showed up and was like, "What up, fool, you're saying we're a bunch of dirty sellouts?" I would wave their interview from SPIN in their face and be like, "Right here you say that you exist solely as a commercial enterprise and it was that way from the start and that's why you've shoveled out nothing but absolute shit music in the last few years in order to ride the wave of your massive cult-like success."

Then I realized that if I were a musician who's actually put CDs out there in the world, I'd bet that there are a lot of people out there who aren't going to like my music. There would probably even be fans of mine who would be upset with the course that my catalog would take over time. I bet they'd even write about it on the internet. I bet that I'd even randomly read it, as well.

Would I be offended?

I guess?

You know what, probably not. I'd say: You know what, internet writer, I am above this! I am an established musician with at least one MTV worthy song and over thirteen years in the business. You're just some dumb asshole who's never done anything worthwhile with your whole life, so all you do is sit on the internet and write mean things about people more artistically successful than yourself. Your stupid opinion doesn't matter to me!

So, all in all, I'm not really upset that Doughty is a real person who read my real words and was offended enough to fire off a 140-character message back at me (which requires zero thought and was probably just off-the-cuff and he forgot about it seconds later, which makes this whole post into making a big deal over nothing), but I am upset that he missed my point and that's why I apologized.

Sorry, Doughty, I just don't like music that sounds commercial. Haughty Melodic got a couple listens out of me (this track itself has 15 plays, and the only other still surviving in my collection, Starbucks, has 19 in four years; that's not saying much) but overall it made me dissatisfied with your work and since its release I have been less inclined you search out new releases from you.

Your live performance of "Grey Ghost" from "Smofe + Smang Live" is one of my favorite tracks by you. I play the "fake word bridge" for people in my car all the time. I don't know why no one from The Sims has ever tapped you to record good music with fake words for their games. You could do it, you can already sing in Simlish.

It's just that, you know, we're at different places in our lives right now. You're probably watching your bottom line (there's that snark again, implying that you're writing more commercial music in a desperate grab for cash) and I can't blame you for it, but I'm 24 years old. I want the music that you made when you were my age. Can you really blame me?

Your music is by no means bad, and I certainly don't want you to try to please me. I like your music because it's your music, and even when I don't like it, I'm glad that it's your music. Don't get the wrong idea: Looking At The World... is eighteen thousand times better anything actually played on the radio these days.

But, I'm young. I don't want to listen to shit that is manufactured to appeal to everyone. I want to listen to music that feels personal, powerful, and moving. I don't want to load up an album and be assaulted with a meticulously crafted adult contemporary pop song. I want something unique and unclean that speaks to me directly with it's sheer indie low-fi me-ness! I want to hear something that makes me go: God! No one else I know personally would ever listen to this!

...and you know what, with Haughty Melodic, you accomplished that, as I don't know anyone who would listen to it. It's just unfortunate that I don't want to listen to it either.

Fuck, there's that snark again.

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