I quit smoking a little over three months ago. I figured it would be interesting, or useful, to write up my feelings since I’ve quit smoking. I haven’t really talked about it much aside from in my Twitter, so here goes.

I am no longer a smoker. I smoked for about six years, from the age of 16 to 22. I quit once before this time, for a period of three months, but at that point I went through a nasty breakup and started smoking again. That was about the time I turned 20. At that time I always felt a little like my being quit was temporary, as I did it mostly to make myself look more attractive to a woman I was interested in. I ended up with a different woman, and when that went south I picked up smoking again.

I was never a very heavy smoker. It was very rare for me to finish a pack in a day, and that only happened on days that were primarily social with nights that were spent at bars. It usually took me about three or four days to finish a pack. I attributed this to the fact that I am a relatively thin guy. I smoked because I enjoyed smoking, it was something to do that helped pass the time. I didn’t smoke because it helped me relax or it reduced my stress level. It was a social activity for me, for the most part. When I first started going to college it seemed like the only time I ever actually talked to another student socially was when we were smoking. Now that I am a non-smoker, I can confirm: smokers talk to strangers more frequently than non-smokers. I think this is because smokers have a common bond immediately, just by being smokers, which causes you to be more comfortable with the other people. Non-smokers at school never mingle socially unless they have a specific question about class. This is disappointing.

I quit cold turkey. I made up my mind, and I quit. The first time I quit, I did the same thing, and I used gum to replace the cigarettes. When my friends at work would take smoke breaks, I would spend time with them chewing gum while they smoked their cigarettes. I was so certain that by quitting smoking I would get laid, I had no problem with it. About a month into quitting, however, I went through a period of time where I was easily aggravated and I would get so overwhelmed by stress that I would often have to leave the room or just shut down and sit on the floor at work until it passed. After that period passed, I was fairly OK with being a non-smoker but I still chewed gum often to replace cravings that almost never ceased.

This time around I decided to chew gum, but after about a week I no longer even thought of chewing gum. There were no cravings to replace, for the most part. I am not sure if this is because I was just more certain about quitting, as I was quitting partly for myself (I was tired of smelling like cigarettes, and smoking always made my mouth feel kind of grungy) and partly to impress a girl who didn’t like cigarettes but never actually told me to quit (Hi, Sarah).

At about the month mark I went through a really lousy state of depression and anxiety. I can’t remember the specifics of it right now, but I felt really low. I wasn’t experiencing cravings, so it took about a week of it before it dawned on me that perhaps this was due to quitting smoking. I’d say it lasted for about two weeks and I’ve been fine since.

Quitting was easy for me. I hate to say that, because I know it is hard on a lot of people, but I’ll say that I think the trick is simply to convince yourself that quitting is more valuable to you than not quitting. I think a lot of people quit because they think they should, not because they genuinely want to. It’s hard to convince yourself that something you’ve done for so long, something you sincerely enjoy, is not something you want to do anymore. I’d say the whole battle resides in determining that you really are better off without cigarettes and believing it. I know when I quit the first time, I was doing it because I thought people would think better of me. This time I did it because I would think better of me, and I do.

So, I’m quit. Here we are.